Like Cat And Dog
by Misura
Summary: [AU] Prince Seto and Prince Jou hate each other so much their fathers send them to a witch to be 'cured'. [sj, yy, rb]
1. First to start

Like cat and dog

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, fairy-tale-ish AU, third pov, slight fluff, hints at Yami/Yugi and Ryou/Bakura, Mokuba. 

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 9th august 2003, by Misura

**********

Once upon a time, there lived two princes. Well, actually that's not entirely correct ; there were a lot of other princes and princesses in the age I want to tell you about but ...

The two princes this story is about were unlike any other royal siblings.

They lived in neighboring kingdoms, so their fathers often put them together, to become the best of friends. Unfortunately, this didn't quite work.

You see, one of the two was always rather lively, yelling and laughing so loud he gave his parents and their courtiers headaches. His name was Katsuya, but everyone called him Jou.

The other was quiet and introvert, so he didn't get along with Jou very well. To make things even worse, the usual so silent and calm prince turned into a venomous loudmouth whenever he got near Jou. After a while it became so bad, the people couldn't even say Jou's name without this prince, whose name was Seto, though everyone called him Kaiba, starting to yell what an annoying person the other prince was.

Unfortunately, 'Jou' sounded a lot like 'You'. And while it was easy to avoid the name of a prince, no one could get used to never using that other word.

Thus, one day, the king who was Prince Seto's father called his most loyal servant to him.

"Yugi-san," he started, "you know my beloved son is very sensitive about a certain word. Now, I've heard about a sorceress who can cure any disease, no matter how strange. I want you to escort my son to her, so that he may be healed from this strange affection. It's not good that he dislikes another person this much."

Yugi bowed. "I will gladly do so, sire. Where does this sorceress live?"

The king frowned. "It is said she lives in the Woods of Peril."

Yugi swallowed and thought this over for a while. "In that case, can I take someone else with me? Someone who may know his way around in there?"

The king nodded graciously. "Take anyone you want, Yugi-san."

*****

[meanwhile in the other kingdom]

"Ryou-san. You are my most trusted advisor. Therefore I want to ask you to go on a mission of the utmost importance for the future of this kingdom." The queen began.

Ryou looked at her uncertainly. "Is it something dangerous?"

The queen shook her head. "Not at all. You only have to go and search a famous sorceress who lives in the woods to the north and ask her to cure my son of his unnatural dislike for Prince Kaiba. She is, by all accounts, quite friendly."

"That doesn't sound too bad." Ryou admitted.

The queen smiled at him sweetly. "I have already had my servants pack your belongings, as well as the prince's. Have a safe journey, Ryou-san."

Before Ryou could even think of objecting, he found himself on horseback, with an also slightly dazed prince Jou next to him.

"Where are we going, Ryou-san?" the prince demanded. "What's going on?"

"We are going to the woods in the north, to visit a fabled sorceress who dwells there." Ryou replied faithfully.

"Oh." Jou thought this over for a while. "Hey, aren't those called the Woods of Peril?"

Ryou paled.

*****

[kingdom of prince Seto]

After a lot of asking around, Yugi discovered there was only one person who had entered the Woods of Peril and came out again sane. More or less.

This person was the dreaded robber and assassin known as Bakura. Who, fortunately for Yugi, was currently residing in the royal dungeons, waiting to be executed.

Given the choice between aiding Yugi in his quest and being killed immediately, Bakura agreed to accompany them, though the king wasn't too happy to let him go.

And so, on a lovely morning, the company of Yugi, Bakura and a grumbling prince Seto set out on their quest.

~tbc?~

A/N : If you want me to, I will probably write more of this after finishing 'Blue eyes, brown eyes'. The remaining cast for this fic so far is :

- Yami : a mysterious stranger (^^;)

- Anzu / Mai / Pegasus : the sorceresses (will probably be slightly bashed)

- Mokuba : a mysterious stranger


	2. Second to continue

Like cat and dog

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, fairy-tale-ish AU, third pov, slight fluff, hints at Yami/Yugi and Ryou/Bakura, Mokuba. 

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 13th august 2003, by Misura

Many, many thanks and apologies to the people who reviewed the first chapter of this. This story's muses are just very evasive. ^^;

**********

[Yugi, Bakura and Prince Seto]

"Well, I think we'll make camp here. One of us can go search some wood for a campfire while the other two set up the tents and take care of the horses." Yugi quipped merrily.

It was in his nature to be optimistic, which had also allowed him not to hear a word of Bakura's mutterings all through the day. They mostly consisted of a thousand-and-one original ways to kill, maim or poison people, which did little to improve Prince Seto's foul mood.

But, as I said before, Yugi hadn't heard any of it. Nope. He was sure Bakura was actually a pretty nice fellow, once you got to know him. Kind of like the Prince, really.

"I'm the Prince." Seto stated. "I don't *do* physical labor. It's not suitable."

Yugi nodded pleasantly. "Of course." He stared at Bakura expectantly.

"I'm the villain." Bakura pointed out. "You can't trust me not to sabotage your tent or run off while pretending to search for wood."

While Seto's mouth began to foam at the mentioning of *that* word, Yugi nodded again.

"I agree. It seems I'll have to do everything then. Ah well, I'd better get started." Politely waiting for Prince Seto to regain control of himself, Yugi ordered him to guard Bakura and went to work.

******

[Ryou and Prince Jou]

"Do you think there might be an inn nearby?" Ryou asked hopefully.

"Nope. We'll have to camp." Prince Jou seemed very happy at the prospect. Ryou's face fell.

"Oh. Are you sure?" Camping outside was just so ... scary. Ryou was sure there were all kinds of animals in this forest, waiting for him to fall asleep so they could come and eat him.

"Yup. What can I do? Set up the tents? Search for berries to eat? Gather firewood?" Prince Jou's brown eyes sparkled excitedly. Ryou wondered if he might have caught a fever.

"I don't know." Why did the queen have to pick *him* for this mission?

"Ooooh, this will be so much *fun*." Prince Jou exclaimed. Life at court was very boring ; people never allowed him to do *anything* by himself.

"Wait, there's a light!" Ryou pointed. Indeed, ahead of them the soft glow of a fire had appeared.

"Do you think it might be a group of bandits?" Prince Jou asked, eagerly fingering his sword. He had, if truth be told, never once used it, but during practice, he'd always imagined himself fighting off villains and slaying dragons. Saving princesses usually came somewhere after that too, usually, but somehow, Jou found the prospect of some girl he'd never met before, rewarding him with a shower of kisses rather sickening.

Just think of it ; she'd probably been held in some dungeon for days and days without any baths. Now, it wasn't that he was overly sensitive to a little dirt, but one had to draw the line somewhere.

Besides, so far he'd never encountered anything scarier than the dogs of the cook, who tended to try and bite him as a boy when he'd sneak in the kitchen to steal cookies, so the matter was purely hypothetical for the moment.

"I certainly hope not." Ryou replied, looking worried.

"Let's go check it out." Jou said, already halfway to the fire. Ryou followed reluctantly.

*****

[Yugi, Bakura and Prince Seto]

"Would you really try to stop me if I left now?" Bakura asked Prince Seto, whose mouth began to foam again, until Bakura slapped him. "Stop doing that! It's disgusting!"

"I hate him." Prince Seto hissed. "Hate him, hate him, hate him. His hair, his smile, his hands. I hate everything about him."

Bakura rolled his eyes. "And people say *I*'m insane. Geez. Can't you talk about anyone else but that guy?"

Prince Seto ranted some more. Bakura guessed that meant 'no'.

He sighed. This was going to be a looooong journey. Still, a general pardon on a successful return might be worth it. Especially if he managed to smooth out that plan to rob the royal treasury afterwards. Though he wasn't entirely sure if *anyone* could cure the prince.

Bakura thought he recognized insanity when he saw it. Though of course, that could be nothing but another delusion, stemming from his own more-than-sane mind.

*****

[Ryou and Prince Jou]

Slightly to Ryou's relief, there was only one person sitting at the fire, his (or her) face covered by the hood of a wide black cloak.

"Are you a bandit?" Prince Jou inquired, immediately adding : "And is that apple-pie with cinnamon I'm smelling? Can I have some?"

"No, yes and no." The figure rose calmly, as if Princes stormed in his camp on a daily base. 

"Oh. What a pity." Prince Jou looked devastated. Ryou wondered what disappointed him more ; not getting any apple-pie or not getting to fight a real bandit.

"My name is Ryou and this is Prince Jou." Ryou introduced them quickly. "We saw your fire when we were just about to settle down for the night ourselves."

"Indeed." The stranger seemed slightly amused. 

"What's your name?" Prince Jou wanted to know.

The stranger bended his head. "I have forgotten, long ago. You can call me Yami, if you must call me by any name."

"You don't remember your own name anymore? That's pretty weird." Prince Jou remarked, a look of pity on his face. "Hey, why don't you come with us? We're going to visit a sorceress who can cure anything!"

Yami seemed to consider this for a while. "Perhaps I will. Thank you for offering, Prince Jou. In exchange for your kindness, I gladly offer you a place at my fire and some apple-pie."

~tbc~


	3. Third to resemble progress

Like cat and dog

***

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, fairy-tale-ish AU, third pov, slight fluff, hints at Yami/Yugi and Ryou/Bakura, Mokuba. 

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. 

written at 16th march 2004, by Misura.

Thanks to the people who reviewed the second chapter! Not sure how many of you will read this but … you made me feel quite guilty about needing so long for the new chapter.

The elusive faerie-tale muses have returned once again. They also came up with a little twist, which I *hope* won't kill the plot. -_-;

**********

[Prince Seto, Yugi, Bakura]

The nightsky was lovely, with a pale moon shedding her light over the earth below. Everything in nature seemed to be asleep.

In a small tent nearby, a boy with tri-colored hair was smiling in his sleep, clutching what looked to be a plushie in the shape of some sort of dragon. The figure that was bending over him to retrieve a package of food allowed himself a small smile.

The mysterious person's face was hidden from view by the hood of his cloak as he quietly slipped out of the tent, to approach one of the horses that stood sleeping nearby. It was still wearing its saddle, since Yugi had been too tired to unsaddle it.

At the nearing of the hooded figure, the horse sniffed in alarm.

"Sshhh, it's me." A pale hand reached out to gently pat the animal's neck, until it calmed down again.

"They all think I'm crazy, you know," the man continued, stroking the horse's neck in a loving gesture. His tone of voice was soothing. "But they still sent me on this trip. And now that I have my chance at freedom, I will take it. I will not let anyone snatch this away from me, even if Yugi'll probably get in a lot of trouble for letting me slip through his fingers."

The man swung into the saddle with ease, the horse nervously dancing a few steps before obeying the tug at the reins and throdding away from the encampment.

"What do I care about Yugi anyway? He's just a do-goodie idiot. Not my responsibility."

As the rider slowly disappeared from view, a white-haired young man stepped out of the shadows of the trees, a wild grin on his face.

"Well," Bakura remarked aloud, although there was nobody there to hear him, "this should definitely make things a little bit more interesting." Cackling softly, he went back to bed, to sleep and dream of dragon's treasures and king's gold.

*****

[Prince Jou, Ryou and Yami]

"Rise and shine, everybody! The sun is rising and it promises to be a glorious day!" Prince Jou's voice interrupted Ryou's pleasant rendez-vous with a lovely young nobleman who also liked to play chess and a cup of hot chocolate, in front of a nice warm hearth in a comfortable room.

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Ryou noticed Yami looking at him questioningly.

"I thought princes were supposed to be spoilt and lazy," Yami mused, a soft smile on his lips.

"Not this one," Ryou replied, managing not to add 'unfortunately'.

"Ah," Yami said.

"We'd better get up before he gets the idea to make us all breakfast though," Ryou continued. "He likes to think he's good at cooking, you see. And since he's the Prince, no one ever dares to deny it."

"Well, I still have some of that apple-pie left. I think," Yami answered unconcernedly.

"Did you leave it outside?" Ryou asked.

"Yes. But I hardly think any one person could eat all of it. Even if your prince was very hungry, there must be a good portion left for us to enjoy," Yami reassured Ryou, who looked sceptical.

"The Prince is what one might term 'a healthy eater'," Ryou sighed.

***** 

[Prince Jou, Ryou and Yami (a few moments later)]

"The apple-pie? Well, there wasn't that much left really. I ate it, but I'm still hungry," Jou complained.

Ryou moaned, burying his face in his hands. "I *knew* it."

Jou blinked, somewhat taken aback by his companion's reaction. "There, there, Ryou." He patted Ryou on the back, making soothing sounds. "I'm sure Yami has got a recipe of it somewhere. He can make plenty more apple-pies for you to enjoy. Don't get so upset."

Yami nodded solemnly. "I do indeed. I merely need to find or buy some of the ingredients again."

"See?" Jou beamed at Ryou. "And in the meantime, we can eat my special porridge. I think I'm calling it 'Kaiba's delight', to let that jerk know I'm neither impressed nor obsessed with him. What do you think, Ryou?"

"I think Prince Seto would be most honored to hear you named your culinary discovery that," Ryou squeaked. Yami's mouth twisted upwards a little.

Jou frowned. "He's not supposed to feel 'honored', actually. More like, 'defeated', 'beaten', 'humiliated', 'surpassed' ... you know the likes. I bet he's nowhere near as good a cook as I am."

"I'm sure that there are very few cooks on your level to be found anywhere within the kingdoms, my Prince," Ryou replied diplomatically. Yami grinned.

"Awww, you're such a nice guy, Ryou!" Jou grinned as well, stomping Ryou on the shoulder. "You may be a bit of a cold fish every now and then, but you're really kind of cool most of the time."

"You are too kind, my Prince," Ryou answered, rubbing his bruised shoulder.

*****

[Prince Se- erh, no wait. It's just Yugi and Bakura]

After years of living like a thief and a robber (there's a big difference between those two occupations! Only really brilliant people like Bakura can be both), Bakura had acquired a keen sense of survival. This included, amongst other useful things, a perfect awareness of knowing when someone nearby was about to burn breakfast. Especially, of course, when it concerned *his* breakfast.

Sticking his head out of the tent, he noticed the offender-to-be.

"Good morning, Bakura-san!" Yugi quipped, smiling sunnily, abandoning his cooking to greet his travel-companion.

"Breakfast's going black," Bakura informed him, not responding to the smaller boy's radiant expression. Yugi was in possession of the kind of cheerfulness that made other people smile back at him, without even noticing. Bakura found it hard to resist his instinctive reaction to that.

"No it isn't. I've just checked," Yugi responded. "You worry too much, Bakura-san."

Bakura once again reminded himself he could not allow himself to strangle the boy. Not yet, anyway.

"Then what do I smell?"

Yugi's smile slowly faded. "Oh! Our breakfast!"

"Moron," Bakura sighed, disappearing back into the tent to get dressed. With luck, Yugi would have gotten all the black parts off of the sausages by the time he was ready to eat.

~tbc?~


	4. Fourth to pick up again

Like cat and dog

xxx

Warnings/notes : Seto/Joey, fairy-tale-ish AU, third pov, slight fluff, hints at Yami/Yugi and Ryou/Bakura, Mokuba, Honda, Otogi, Shizuka, Anzu, Mai, Rebecca.

Disclaimer : I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh.

written at 3rd june 2004, by Misura.

Note : I slightly extended the cast. Not sure yet if there'll be more pairings as well.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

(Prince Seto)

He wasn't lost.

Princes didn't get lost. Especially not if they were named Seto, and widely known for their intelligence.

He wasn't lost.

He had escaped from the death-trap of being forced to let some witch cast a spell on him that would make him -like- that worthless, good-for-nothing Prince Jou, a process that would obviously destroy his sanity, good taste and brains.

As long as he possessed those things, he could -never- like Prince Jou. Thus, he had had to grab his chance to get away when it presented itself. To save his life.

Prince Seto sighed, staring suspiciously at a tree. It looked awfully familiar.

Of course, he was in the woods. There were lots of trees around here, and Prince Seto couldn't say he perceived any great differences between them.

Still, to be absolutely sure, he fished a red ribbon out of his saddlebags, to tie it around one of the branches of the tree in question.

Half an hour later, he realized that he had never carried red ribbons in his saddlebags before. Especially not of the kind that girls wore in their hair. And definitely not pink ones, and mint-green ones, and purple ones, and yellow ones, with little bunnies embroidered on them.

Eyeing the pile of ribbons, Seto wondered who on earth would carry a ... collection like this with him. Or her, in theory, except that he was pretty sure that the ribbons had to belong to either Bakura or Yugi.

Hmm. A vicious, dangerous, psychotic criminal, or a soft-hearted, overly kind and gentle push-over. Prince Seto didn't even need to use half his brains to determine the culprit.

Not that knowing -who- did it helped him any in getting his own saddlebags back, which were stuffed with useful things, such as maps, a compass, a waterbag ... normal food.

His current saddlebags only contained disgustingly sweet candy, that would probably make him sick if he ate more than a quarter-bite of it. All in all, it appeared that Fate had once again been utterly unfair and unkind to him.

Vowing to exact a blody revenge on Prince Jou for bribing Bakura to make Seto die of hunger -and- to fill his saddlebags with useless junk, Prince Seto nudged his horse to continue walking.

Ten minutes later, he noticed a red ribbon hanging in a tree.

He was lost.

xxxxx

(Prince Jou, Ryou and Yami)

Ryou was hungry and tired. His back and legs were aching from traveling on horse-back, his shoulder was bruised from Prince Jou stomping it, and his pride was hurting worst of all. Because neither Prince Jou nor Yami showed any sign of suffering even a fifth as much as Ryou did.

Of course, Ryou knew he wasn't as adventurous or energetic as Prince Jou, nor as used to hardships as Yami, but still ... he was supposed to -protect- Prince Jou. (Mostly against Prince Jou himself and his well-intended follies. That wasn't the point though.)

"Uhm, Ryou? You might want to stop ... "

Ryou blinked, turning around to find Prince Jou and Yami some distance behind him, staring at something in front of him. Or rather, -someone-.

"Excuse me, I hadn't seen you," Ryou said absently, wondering why the man hadn't stepped aside, like any prudent and reasonable person would when he saw horses approaching. Besides, the road was wide enough for -three- horses. There was no reason at all to walk in the middle of the road.

"Very funny." The man waved with a crossbow. A -loaded- crossbow, even. The lack of sense of some people astonished Ryou.

"Did you know that what you're doing is quite dangerous?" Ryou inquired, trying to keep his tone somewhere in between 'stern' and 'parental'.

"Your money or your lives!" The crossbow was directed at his chest. "I'm the well-known thief and robber Bakura, and I will not hesitate to shoot you!"

Ryou felt a headache coming up. He was already having a really bad day. Why did Bakura have to pick -this- day to ... Ryou frowned.

The man in front of him had brown eyes, brown hair, a brown skin and was wearing a brown jacket, with brown boots and brown trousers.

"You're not Bakura," Ryou informed him. "Bakura has long white hair, a pale skin and he always wears flashy, bright clothing. You're a -fake- and I'm not in the mood for this. Be so kind as to get lost."

For a moment, there was silence. The kind of silence to indicate the most painful kind of embarrassment. Then the fake Bakura jumped into the bushes, yelling the cheesiest line for villains ever:

"I'll be back!"

"Gods. I hope not," Ryou sighed. "And what are -you- looking at?" Prince Jou and Yami were staring at him as if he had grown another head.

"Someone who's almost as brave as I am!" Prince Jou beamed at him, stomping his shoulder. Ryou managed not to wince too much. "The way you faced that robber down, even while he was aiming a crossbow at you! -I- could have done it better, of course, but I was concerned that perhaps you or Yami'd get hurt."

Ryou blinked at him owlishly, the words only registering slowly. Was Prince Jou saying that he could actually have gotten injured? Surely not.

"Almost as brave ... or almost as foolish," Yami murmured, soft enough not to be heard by Prince Jou.

xxxxx

(Yugi and Bakura)

"Isn't this a wonderful morning?" Yugi remarked cheerfully.

"A morning started off with a burnt breakfast can never be 'wonderful'," Bakura grumbled. He had miscalculated the time he could spend on getting properly dressed and found Yugi had eaten -half- of the sausages prepared for breakfast, greedy little pig that he was.

Bakura was almost twice as tall as Yugi, so, obviously, he required twice as much food.

"It's so lovely quiet and peaceful," Yugi chattered on.

"Yeah. Now that we lost Prince Sunshine," Bakura muttered. "No more ranting about puppies and dogs and mutts and all other things canine."

"The birds are singing, the sun is shining ... what else could I wish for?" Yugi beamed.

"A brain?" Bakura suggested. "A portion of good sense? A painful death for your enemies? A cute girlfriend? Gold?"

"You shouldn't be so materialistic," Yugi reprimanded him. "Or sexistic. A boyfriend can be just as cute as a girlfriend."

Bakura chose not to dignify that with an answer.

"I just keep having the feeling we're missing something ... " Yugi frowned.

"I haven't got the slightest idea what you're talking about. I don't miss anything," Bakura smirked, patting the small package in a pocket of his jacket that contained some dried forget-me-dos. After all, he hadn't visited the Woods of Peril for nothing.

-tbc?-

A/N : Anyone wants to guess what all those ribbons are doing in Seto's saddlebags? Or whose they really are (because no, they're not Jou's)? -winks-


End file.
